The Night Before Phishmas
Twas’ the Night Before Phishmas
And all through our nook,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a wook.
The hoodies were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes The Phish from Vermont would soon be there.
And I in my lot shirt and heady mama with her booze,
Had just settled down for a quick winter snooze.
When out in the lot there arose a great cheer
I sprang from the bed to grab a fresh beer.
Away to the Shakedown I flew like a flash,
Cracked open a brew and smelled some faint hash.
The moon shone down on the freshly laid out wares,
As the cops walked around but clearly didn’t care.
When what to my bloodshot eyes did I hear?
But a mini VW bus with 6 n00bs driving it down the street in low gear.
With a ginger for a driver, so torn and so frayed,
I knew at that moment it must be Trey!
Faster than a Llama, his phanners they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“On Fee! On Rutherford! On Mule and Tela the spy!
On Horse! On Guyute! On all of you guys!
To the top of MSG! To the heart of the city!
Now dance away! dance away! dance away so pretty!”
As unsold extras that before the show did fly,
When they meet with the ticketless, hoping for Divided Sky.
So up to the rooftop the phanners they flew,
With the VW bus full of jams, and Fish, Mike and Page too!
And then just like that I heard on the roof,
The dancing and jumping of each members foot.
As I put on my dance shoes and was twisting around,
Down the chimney Trey came with a Mound!
Trey was dressed to the nines, and Mike in purple pants
Page munched on a sandwich, Fish simply danced.
The bundle of jams Trey had flung on his back,
Made him look like a traveler, just opening his pack.
His eyes how they sparkled! His gingerness so merry!
His cheeks were like free roses, his nose like Jerry’s!
His floppy head of hair and rounded glasses framed his face,
And his beard was red as he ran like an antelope in space.
The stump of Mike’s bass was held tight in his hands
It fucked my face with the smoke, something quite grand;
Page had a smiling face and a nice new shirt on his chest,
And when he laughed it was like he had brought in the Dude – his absolute best!
Fish was chubby and stout, like a hellborn child elf,
And I laughed when I saw him and I enjoyed myself;
A wink of his eye and a hi-hat intro,
And soon began to surrender to the flow
They spoke not a word, it was a silent vocal jam,
And filled all the hoodies with dry goods merch, hot damn!
And they touched their heads as the evening shocked their brain,
They each gave a nod, and up the chimney they went as they came.
Trey sprang to the VW bus and to his team gave Reba’s whistle,
And away they all flew towards the Mountains in the Mistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as some green tea he poured,
“MERRY PHISHMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD TOUR!”
Safe travels to New York City!