Michael: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confessional in the Church of Metal.
Father Ozzy: What is it?
Michael: I was assigned the task of reviewing Nero Di Marte’s self titled, debut CD. Well, technically it’s their third CD, but they changed their name from Murder Therapy recently, and this is the first CD under their new name.
Father Ozzy: Stop bloody wanking and get on with it.
Michael: Uh, right. Anyway, I got the CD, and I listened to it.
Father Ozzy: Are you asking me? How am I supposed to bloody know you listened to it?
Michael: I mean, I listened to it, but…(pause)
Father Ozzy: Yes?
Michael: Well, you see. It’s…(pause)
Father Ozzy: Will you come on with it, already!
Michael: Father. I didn’t like it….(pause)
Father Ozzy: Where’s the sin in that?
Michael: I only listened to it once. I couldn’t stand to listen to it anymore.
Nero Di Marte is a quartet out of Italy. They have a world release out of Prosthetic Records in a few days (March 18th in the United Kingdom, March 19th in the United States and March 22nd in Eurpoe), and I don’t want to pick it up anymore. It scares me.
Father Ozzy: You’re talking to the Prince of bloody Darkness, how is this CD scary?
Michael: I know the band likes to experiment with their sound, but everything was off. The guitars drowned the vocals. The guitars were out of synch with everything. And, don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of drums, but the drums overpowered everything. Not only that, the cadence was off at times. It sounded like the guitars were playing to a different song than the drums! It was bedlam!
Father Ozzy: (pause)
Father Ozzy: What else can you say?
Michael: Lead singer, Sean Worrell is a howler monkey?
Father Ozzy: Stop with the bloody howler monkey thing! It’s metal!
Michael: You didn’t do it!
Father Ozzy: Don’t you think I’m challenged enough with my speech?
Michael: What’s my penance, Father?
Father Ozzy: Listen to the CD again. Ask people not to take your judgments into mind, but let them decide for themselves the quality of this work.
For more information, please go to www.nerodimarte.com